maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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