Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
