There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
