Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
