My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize