whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
So squirting runs in the family.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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