I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She's like a pop up book from hell.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
