They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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