U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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