I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
