Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
