speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
