I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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