I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
