Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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