She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
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