Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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