pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
