arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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