there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
