Me too!
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
