dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
