Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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