i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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