you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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