Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
bring money and cleavage
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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