Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
