if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize