Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I look better un-naked...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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