Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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