you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
