Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We named our party play list daddy issues
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Randomize
