Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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