If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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