It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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