Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
