Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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