The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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