Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize