your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
