Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
