I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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