can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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