: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
