Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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