If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
