So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
