Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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