Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
there is glitter all over my balls
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
