Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Boobs speak an international language.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
