absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
