perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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