You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
