Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
