He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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