so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
