I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my sisters under your porch take her home
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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