I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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