Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
