Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize