im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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