he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
