I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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